stress

sometimes i always force it to stay there and not to come out
but it keep ignoring my order and come out without the permission

and when it comes out
it will always make some changes in the conversation
make it more confusing and complicating

and i feel so stress once it comes out
because i have to force it to go in again even though it violated my order

once u saw it, you will talk to me as louder as you can
i can't take the volume
is scary and terrible

even though most of the time,i success to control it
but what i want i still cant get it
which is your trust and believe

i know what i had done
i really dont know what can i do to solve that problem
what i have did are always fail to cope it
can you teach me??

once i ask this question
your answer always is "please think yourself"
i can't think anything
if i know, i wont ask you any more , right??

"Is your business" "Is your matter"
These are just 2 short and simple sentences
but it really hurt
again, i couldn't take it too
my heart was beating very fast when i saw them
and it comes out again
i can't control at the moment


now i feel so stress not only on study which all the subs are killing me
but also from friends..
why everyday i receive all the bad news from YH
i don't want that
it makes me feel so sad and alone now
and now i stress again
assignment and my own "job"


can i stop my study??